① Money is not everything. There’s Mastercard & Visa.
钞票不是万能的,有时还需要信用卡.

② One should love animals. They are so tasty.
  每个人都应该热爱动物,因为它们很好吃.

③ Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.
  要节约用水,尽量和女友一起洗澡.

④ Love the neighbor. But don’t get caught.
  要用心去爱你的邻居,不过不要让她的老公知道.

⑤ Behind every successful man, there is a woman.And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
  每个成功男人的背后,都有一个女人. 每个不成功男人的背后, 都有两个.

⑥ Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
  再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚,幸福不是永久的嘛.
  ⑦ The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise.
  聪明人都是未婚的,结婚的人很难再聪明起来.

⑧ Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
  成功是一个相关名词,他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚(联系).

⑨ Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.
  不要等明天交不上差再找借口, 今天就要做好.

⑩ Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.
  爱情就象照片,需要大量的暗房时间来培养.

⑾ Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children.
  后排座位上的小孩会生出意外, 后排座位上的意外会生出小孩.

⑿“Your future depends on your dreams”. So go to sleep.
  “现在的梦想决定着你的将来”,所以还是再睡一会吧.