Standing at the crossroad, turn left or turn right?

Everybody who knows my story would congratulate me on having a pair of twins, especially one boy and one girl, looking so cute and lovely. Seldom there is someone who knows how hard I'm now suffering. Not a word or an article I can find to express the true feeling of my heart.

From the ages I understand my responsibility and burden, I try hard to earn money in every way I can do. Living in poverty forces me to grow faster and maturer than my peers. I know I can only rely on myself to make life better, no one can help truely. This is reality. Husband can be stranger someday. Nevertheless, I have myself and my babies.

Some friends urged me to stay at home and focus on the babies. I really want to, but I cannot. I must work, I must earn money, I must go ahead fighting. Nobody support me in any way. I know what I am doing now. My babies are my hopes. I love them more than anybody in this world. I know only if their mother is strong can she protect them well. They will understand me when they grow up. There's no doubt.

Turn left, I can be a full-time good housewife to better feed my babies.
Turn right, I can be a strong woman in this business world earning more money to better support my babies in many ways.

More importantly, I can be myself and improve my ability to better suit this world. This is what I concern most. I cannot bear staying at home and ask for money from others humbly. A woman, can stand out and find her way. I am this kind of woman.

As a human being, we must firstly stand on our feet before we can give help to others. I will stick it out in this long-suffering life with my fixed & strong belief.

        Never give up,
　　Never lose hope.
　　Always have faith,
　　It allows you to cope.
　　Trying times will pass,
　　As they always do.
　　Just have patience,
　　Your dreams will come true.
　　So put on a smile,
　　You'll live through your pain.
　　Know it will pass,
　　And strength you will gain

I tell myself every day, every moment, and every second when I am depressed.

Don't need anyone's support, I can support myself.

Stick to it, I can make it!!!